the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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