Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
