Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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