That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize
