THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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