I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
