Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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