That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
You did what with his pubic hair?
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