Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
