"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole a fireplace last night.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize