The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
