We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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