we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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