my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
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Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
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how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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