...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
worst night to have a conscience
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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