Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
