Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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