Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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