New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
did i walk over a car last night?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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