found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Randomize
