Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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