i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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