so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
