if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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