Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
