You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Randomize
