Sponge bath it is.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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