i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
