so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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