Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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