Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
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