I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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