Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
