Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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