Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
