I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
