Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
