I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
