if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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