I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
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I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
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I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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