new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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