You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
