I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
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U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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