my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I woke up under a house in Key West
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