you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
