i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
