And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
