I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
