that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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