dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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