absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
