it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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