Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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