My first STD was from a foam party
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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