I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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