you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
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I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
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It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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