Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
