a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
