I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
