I'm so fucking centered right now
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Randomize
