If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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