He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
