I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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