I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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